Why Am I Gay?

Am sure many has asked this question, but
the truth is that, nobody fully understands yet
what determines a person’s sexuality. I
believe – as do many others – that
homosexuality is genetic. In other words,
we’re born gay, bisexual or straight. I grew up
in the same house as my brother but not only
is he straight, we’re very different in many
other ways. Some people believe that
sexuality is influenced by environmental
factors and events that a child experiences as
he or she is growing up, while some think that
it’s determined by a mixture of both genetic
and environmental factors. You might hear the
phrase ‘nature or nurture’ around discussion
of this topic. I’m sure I’m not the only person
who’s met a child who seemed different, well
before puberty or any concept of sexuality.
There are all sorts of theories with negative
overtones that attempt to explain the
occurrence of homosexuality, such as absent
or distant fathers; overbearing mothers;
exposure to bad influences; being raised in a
single parent family; what toys a child is
allowed to play with; what colour the child’s
room is painted; and whether certain
behaviour is encouraged or discouraged by
the parents. I don’t believe that a naturally
straight child can be turned gay by playing
with Barbie instead of Action Man, or because
Dad was away on business a lot, or because
Mum was overprotective, or a gay uncle
visited regularly etc. All such suggestions are
merely theories – often biased, agenda-led,
and nearly always homophobic – and are not
based on proven science. If children are
allowed to explore who they are and express
themselves without guilt, they’ll discover their
sexuality naturally without inherited hang-ups
about gender appropriateness.
Remember that while sexuality is an important
part of who you are it doesn’t define you as a
person. You are much more than who you find
attractive. Sometimes we can become a little
too preoccupied with how the world relates to
us as gay people, and we wear sexuality like a
blanket that covers up other valuable and
interesting aspects of ourselves. Sexuality
should be given the relevance it deserves by
yourself and by others. A little secret: a good
deal of the time sexuality isn’t relevent at all!
Some people believe that homosexuality is an
unnatural deviation from what’s considered
normal and sometimes attribute it to an odd
choice made by the individual. I have yet to
meet anyone who decided to be gay – or
straight, for that matter. A person can’t opt
out of their sexuality or adopt another.